Random thoughts..

..from yours truly

Random thought #1:
I am so truly blessed. Everyday I look at my life and how imperfectly perfect it is, I can't help but be in awe. Everyday I find myself thanking God over and over for the life He lead me to even if the path was full of bumps and sharp turns. I know I did things out of order and probably not exactly how He would have liked. But together we got here. And here is a great place to be. There isn't a thing I can't do any more. I'm a fantastic mother. I try my hardest at being a great daughter and a fantabulous girlfriend. I work hard at being a good friend and stranger. I don't just want to be kind to those people I know, but also those I simply pass on the street. Even if it's just a smile or a hello, I strive to spread a little happiness in a day. Not everyone has been as blessed as I have, I think those people could use an extra smile in a day.

Random thought #2:
I am not perfect. I have made mistakes. I have done things I'm not entirely proud of. But I'd like to think in the grand scheme of life, I'm a fairly good person. I can be judgemental, I am working on changing that. I find myself noticing my judgemental thoughts and challenging them. So as I work on myself I find that I'm noticing other people's judgements of me and I'm attempting to finally accept that I can not change their perception. Only they can do that. So just know; I know I am not perfect however maybe the things you think of me aren't entirely true. Challenge your thoughts.

Random thought #3:
My work environment is toxic. 100%. I know God has a plan for me. I also believe I need to put in work on my end of the deal. So I'm going to keep looking and sending my resume anywhere possible. Between the smoke and the people that place is eating away at my health in every way. I'm tired in every form of the word when it comes to that place. I'm tired of always showing up for my shift when people are constantly calling in. I'm tired of cleaning up after inconsiderate people. I'm tired of doing things when it's never acknowledged. I'm tired of coming home smelling like I chimney and being unable to hold my son until I've changed all of my clothes and scrubbed myself raw. I'm tired of spending my day listening to men degrade woman all. day. long. I'm tired of being watched like I'm a child instead of getting a helping hand. I'm tired of the whispers. I'm tired of the drama. I'm tired of the constant judgements. I'm tired of jokes that aren't funny, they are hurtful. And I'm tired of keeping my mouth shut. I learned long ago it's best to just not talk to them; Not let myself get down to their level. But it is exhausting.
So no matter what happens I'm going to keep trying to better my life and my son's life by finding a new job. I will not be discouraged. I will not give up hope.


I'm full of random thoughts but this is what I've got for you tonight. Drop a line or a smile.