Faith

I know I've been gone a while. I went through a lot of emotions from my birthday on. I want my blog to stay as upbeat as possible and I just needed some time to sort through all of the things I had on my plate. And I am doing well. I have had ginormous amounts of help of course and that is what this post is about!

My faith in God is becoming stronger than ever. I still stumble now and again but as each day passes I am seeing I must put all my faith in Him. He has provided amazing things for me and He has been with me through the hardest times in my life. What I'm facing now is not life or death. It is not something I can't get through. He is simply asking me to put some hard work, determination and a whole lot of faith into my life. Money is just money. And money is the ONLY thing in my life that I don't seem to have enough of. I can feed my son and I. Wee Man has the things babies need. So then, we are doing just fine. The debt will be there when I have the money to pay it. What we don't have in money we make up for in love. This house is so full of love it's utterly ridiculous in an amazing way. God blessed us with a man no words can truly explain.

My Love and Wee Man are two peas in a pod. I am an overprotective cautious mother and trust very few with the task of taking care of my son. In fact I believe I could count on one hand the number of people I've left him with...but My Love has taken to it all like a duck to water. He's fan-frickin-tabulous with Wee Man. The other night as we were all playing together before bed, I saw something I had never experienced before. In six months I have never had to share Wee Man with another parent. Yes, he sees his father but Wee Man has never once looked at him like he looks at me. Wee Man knows me as The Parent and The Caregiver. His father is more like a babysitter to him (no harm intended, he just honestly isn't old enough to understand that eight hours a week means he is "dad"). But that night I saw Wee Man look at another like he looks at me. I feared it would bother me, make me jealous or make me sad. Instead I felt like if I have done nothing else right as a mother, this one I did get right. I didn't pick My Love because I wanted a Daddy for Wee Man, I simply wanted a man who would love my son the way I love him. I could go on and on and on about My Love and all of the amazing things he has done for us. He is the most patient, loving, kind, helpful, understanding, stubborn and gorgeous man I have ever had the pleasure of getting to know. He has added so much to this family. God had a plan when he brought My Love into our lives.

I've also attended counseling since the loss of my beloved grandmother. K has pushed me and done some hard work with me. I'm proud to say I've graduated to counseling every other week! I have learned and grown so much from K and the work she's done with me. Each day I put all of her guidance into practice and each day I find myself changing a bit more; in such a very very good way!

And of course my wonderful mommy, stepdad, father and baby sisters have been keeping me in line as well. Without them, life wouldn't have much meaning.

You see this life is all about faith. I have faith that God has a plan for me and my son. I have faith in the wonderful support system He has given me. I have faith that someday, this will all seem like a small bump in the road to an amazing life.