With Just a Smell

eHave you ever smelled something and had it take you right back to a moment in your life. I finally moved into the big bathroom in my house the other day. I put shampoo, conditioner and body wash in the shower without giving it another thought. When I first opened each of the bottles the next day I was brought right back to the hospital room after giving birth. It was just like standing in that shower, rinsing off the sweat and tears of labor. I was right back there feeling like I didn't know what to do next. I was so lost. I was so happy and sad at the same time. I felt more alone than I ever have in my life. The baby I had grown inside me and felt kick me, was no longer there. The man whom was supposed to be helping me through all of it wasn't there. My family had a life and couldn't be there every second, I was an adult after all. There I stood in blistering hot water trying to make sense of my life.
When I smell those smells I see that lonely lost girl. I feel so bad for her but I am so proud of the woman I have become. When I turned to God my life began to turn around. Yes I lost my precious grandmother and it still makes me sad everyday. But God put so much good in my life to help me see He loves me and wasn't trying to punish me. I was learning lessons.
Those smells remind me of where I came from. They show me how far I have come. It is truly amazing. I still have work ahead of me but I'm proud of me. I hope Grandma and Grandpa are too. Happy Holidays Gma and Gpa. I love and miss you both more than you can every imagine.